#365: The end.

This blog was born out of a weariness of my soul. It seemed, at the end of 2014, that all I heard come I'm gonna do but not so much action following it up. Suddenly, on the 2nd or 3rd of January, the words of Brene Brown went through my head: Perfectionists don't write books. How desperately I wanted to do things in my life rather than continue to just think about them. My hope and optimism and belief in myself seemed to have broken off of me like shards of ice fall away during a melt.
out of my mouth was negative and empty: complaints, whining, self-pity and lots of plans about what

I needed to get my joy back. I needed to create. More than anything, I needed to follow through on something that required real work. Counting Sheep was thus born.

Sometimes I felt like I was lying or pretending; there were many days I scrambled to come up with the tiniest little thing to feign gladness about while other days I struggled to find words to express the joy and amazement at my own life.

Some of the lessons I learned in addition to the 365 grace-filled days I found:

• Positive things happen way more frequently than the voices in my head tell me. According to "them", it's always been ages since anything good went on. Not true, and I have proof!
• When I think negative things are happening, I need to rework my perspective on what is going on.
• Writing things down is powerful. I forces me to sit still, be in my body, decide on and explain my subject.
• Being happy is a choice. I think it is mostly a choice of perception. I get to choose how I take in what happens.
• Moods pass. I have a year of documented proof that that happens!
• Success, no matter whether it is defined as happiness or in terms of careers or dollars or accomplishment, requires work. 
• Vulnerability is survivable.
• Vulnerability is strength.
• Vulnerability is worth it.

Thank you to those of you who took the time to read even just one post. It has been amazing and humbling to me to run into people around town (or even in Texas or Ireland!) who will reference something I've written. Thank you for your love and support. I did this solely to help myself, but what a beautiful thing God has done if it helped anyone else.

The. End.