Sunday, August 13, 2017

13 days left. I think I'm sad!

I have finally managed to turn off the TV.  Briefly I considered it a few hours ago when I finished a movie I started yesterday on Amazon Prime (The Dressmaker, it's really good), but I felt too sad so I went to the reliable standby, Law & Order SVU on Ion. Aside from USA's A Christmas Story marathon every December or a Gilmore Girls Netflix binge, where else can a girl get completely reliable, predictable, and most happy-ending television in which she can avoid her feelings for hours on end?

All day long I have felt restless, irritable and generally bi&%$y. Maybe it's the lack of sleep lately, or that I forgot didn't meditate this morning, or that I want my house to be clean for people coming over tomorrow or that I still have lost no weight even though I must have burned enough mental energy obsessing about it to fit into those pants that used to be baggy on me.

I kept driving through the day, cursing this and that, stumbling here and there, with a layer of general disagreement with the world and myself. Lately I find myself generally always wanting to get home, but when I get there I often find myself mindlessly clicking through the Amazon Prime options one more time. Before I know it, 3 hours have passed with my laptop on my legs, two or three words typed, and 15 episodes of something that I have seen before at least 4 times have gone by.

Tonight a friend texted and told me she is sad I am leaving. And I realized that sadness is underneath my disgruntled and sometimes bitchy attitude today.

I am sad that today is my last Friday night alone in my house; tomorrow is the last long run with my running girls; I'm sad to leave my house, especially after all the love I put into it this year. I'm sad to leave my friends and I am scared about making new friends. I'm sad to leave my parents and family on a different continent.

I know I very well may come back to Boise, but it's possible I won't. Either way, my life is changing BIG TIME and there is sadness that comes along with the excitement of it. On one of the episodes of L & O, SVU tonight, one of the characters said, "If he doesn't deal with it, he can't move on." So I will try to feel the sadness, and maybe only watch 2 episodes tomorrow.

And I'll try not to be a b*#ch.

Monday, August 7, 2017

When everything just falls into place... #InternationalTeaching #intheflow


I'm ticketed!!!

And look at the routing on my ticket. Before you look, though, let me just say that I did NOT ask for this...

AND...there is an almost 9 hour layover in Dallas! Most of my family lives in Dallas, so I will not only get to spend the afternoon with them, but also get to be sent off to the other side of the world by family.

This is not the only thing that has fallen into place. Some of the other things...

  • A friend recommended a super great property manager that I feel totally good about
  • I don't fly out until August 24th, and so get to be here in Idaho for the solar eclipse!! (No solar eclipse in the UAE)
  • Another friend's husband just happens to be newly working for a company that packs pianos and precious items for moving and storage. I found this out just about two weeks ago, when my piano had just moved to the top of my "to do" list.
  • Said piano-packer-for-storage company owner hooked me up with packers to pack up my house. I realize that I could do this myself, but I would have to start right now, living in boxes and, most important to me, my sense of home would be disturbed weeks before I leave. I would rather pay people to pack my stuff professionally and quickly so that I can be in my home for as long as possible. My aunt taught me a long time ago, if you can afford it and you want to, why not?
  • While I was waiting for said packers to contact me, I was concerned about which days they would come. I was told it would take one day to pack, one day to load the stuff into the Storage Cubbys. Piano-packer Man thought the packers would want to work on the weekends, meaning they would pack & load on Saturday and Sunday, leaving me in an empty house until Thursday morning. However, when the packers called, he was totally able to book me for Tuesday and Wednesday! Which also means that 
  • I don't have to stay in Boise during the total solar eclipse!! I can go camping like I was hoping to get to do before I leave.
  • I got to go to Roaring Springs with a couple of friends last month. I've never been there before and it just so happened that they were going on a Saturday and it was easy for me to tag along.
  • Old friends and old flames are reappearing. I have run into two ex-boyfriends and my ex-husband in the last few weeks, as well as a couple of girlfriends I haven't seen in years.
  • A few people kept telling me about a fellow teacher who lives near me that taught overseas recently. I ran into him in the neighborhood (actually I just walked up to him and asked him if he was the guy, and he was very nice about it) and he was willing to get together a few days later and share his information with me.
Albert Einstein said, "Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous," and I can't help interpreting these events as reassurance that I am making a good decision. I feel like I am "in the flow", and how delicious it is!