Counting Sheep in 2021

Drawn by Amaya Criswell

As 2020 comes to a close and my stay in Israel nears 6 months, I have been reflecting (like many others) but also been listening to myself--and I am tired of what I hear. Since I moved in August my attitude has slowly deteriorated from an uncomfortable optimism to a cynical self pity which I finally heard clearly while in Dubai visiting a friend for the holidays. 

Perhaps it was the irony of being so grateful to be in the UAE, the place where my life abroad began with 4 solid months of hiccup crying, doubts, misery and trauma. When I saw the Burj Khalifa 2 weeks ago from a taxi on the way to the Sheraton Grand from DXB I was delighted! Our stay at the hotel was equally fabulous and I found myself comparing my apartment in Israel to conditions in the UAE. Needless to say, the UAE won. But after hearing myself over and over again say, "I wish my apartment in Israel was....", I caught on to myself.  The attitude has to change.

Thus I begin another year of gratitude as I did several years ago. One post a day highlighting something I am grateful for. All of us had a hard 2020 and I'm not saying I didn't struggle without good reason, but I also believe that it is not what happens to us that determines our happiness as much as our reaction to what happens to us. 

And so I welcome 2021 with an attitude of hope and gratitude, determined not to let my circumstances dictate the amount of joy in my life.

13 days left. I think I'm sad!

I have finally managed to turn off the TV.  Briefly I considered it a few hours ago when I finished a movie I started yesterday on Amazon Prime (The Dressmaker, it's really good), but I felt too sad so I went to the reliable standby, Law & Order SVU on Ion. Aside from USA's A Christmas Story marathon every December or a Gilmore Girls Netflix binge, where else can a girl get completely reliable, predictable, and most happy-ending television in which she can avoid her feelings for hours on end?

All day long I have felt restless, irritable and generally bi&%$y. Maybe it's the lack of sleep lately, or that I forgot didn't meditate this morning, or that I want my house to be clean for people coming over tomorrow or that I still have lost no weight even though I must have burned enough mental energy obsessing about it to fit into those pants that used to be baggy on me.

I kept driving through the day, cursing this and that, stumbling here and there, with a layer of general disagreement with the world and myself. Lately I find myself generally always wanting to get home, but when I get there I often find myself mindlessly clicking through the Amazon Prime options one more time. Before I know it, 3 hours have passed with my laptop on my legs, two or three words typed, and 15 episodes of something that I have seen before at least 4 times have gone by.

Tonight a friend texted and told me she is sad I am leaving. And I realized that sadness is underneath my disgruntled and sometimes bitchy attitude today.

I am sad that today is my last Friday night alone in my house; tomorrow is the last long run with my running girls; I'm sad to leave my house, especially after all the love I put into it this year. I'm sad to leave my friends and I am scared about making new friends. I'm sad to leave my parents and family on a different continent.

I know I very well may come back to Boise, but it's possible I won't. Either way, my life is changing BIG TIME and there is sadness that comes along with the excitement of it. On one of the episodes of L & O, SVU tonight, one of the characters said, "If he doesn't deal with it, he can't move on." So I will try to feel the sadness, and maybe only watch 2 episodes tomorrow.

And I'll try not to be a b*#ch.

When everything just falls into place... #InternationalTeaching #intheflow

I AM REALLY MOVING TO ABU DHABI!!!!

I'm ticketed!!!

And look at the routing on my ticket. Before you look, though, let me just say that I did NOT ask for this...

AND...there is an almost 9 hour layover in Dallas! Most of my family lives in Dallas, so I will not only get to spend the afternoon with them, but also get to be sent off to the other side of the world by family.

This is not the only thing that has fallen into place. Some of the other things...

• A friend recommended a super great property manager that I feel totally good about
• I don't fly out until August 24th, and so get to be here in Idaho for the solar eclipse!! (No solar eclipse in the UAE)
• Another friend's husband just happens to be newly working for a company that packs pianos and precious items for moving and storage. I found this out just about two weeks ago, when my piano had just moved to the top of my "to do" list.
• Said piano-packer-for-storage company owner hooked me up with packers to pack up my house. I realize that I could do this myself, but I would have to start right now, living in boxes and, most important to me, my sense of home would be disturbed weeks before I leave. I would rather pay people to pack my stuff professionally and quickly so that I can be in my home for as long as possible. My aunt taught me a long time ago, if you can afford it and you want to, why not?
• While I was waiting for said packers to contact me, I was concerned about which days they would come. I was told it would take one day to pack, one day to load the stuff into the Storage Cubbys. Piano-packer Man thought the packers would want to work on the weekends, meaning they would pack & load on Saturday and Sunday, leaving me in an empty house until Thursday morning. However, when the packers called, he was totally able to book me for Tuesday and Wednesday! Which also means that 
• I don't have to stay in Boise during the total solar eclipse!! I can go camping like I was hoping to get to do before I leave.
• I got to go to Roaring Springs with a couple of friends last month. I've never been there before and it just so happened that they were going on a Saturday and it was easy for me to tag along.
• Old friends and old flames are reappearing. I have run into two ex-boyfriends and my ex-husband in the last few weeks, as well as a couple of girlfriends I haven't seen in years.
• A few people kept telling me about a fellow teacher who lives near me that taught overseas recently. I ran into him in the neighborhood (actually I just walked up to him and asked him if he was the guy, and he was very nice about it) and he was willing to get together a few days later and share his information with me.

Albert Einstein said, "Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous," and I can't help interpreting these events as reassurance that I am making a good decision. I feel like I am "in the flow", and how delicious it is!

The Natatorium #BoiseCity #IlovetheNat

Have I told you today yet how much I love the Natatorium?

I got a date (but not that kind, Dad)! #totaleciplse2017 #internatiinalteaching

I have been waiting since the beginning of February for this....a date that I will be leaving the States and moving to Abu Dhabi!

WOOHOO!!

Not only do I know the date, August 26th-ish, but that date is AFTER THE total solar eclipse on August 21st. This means I will get to see it from not only the US, which is the only place it will be able to be seen in its totality, but from Idaho, which is in the direct path of the eclipse!!!

Happy 4th of July! @CityofUPTX @HP_Texas #4thofJuly #Family

Happy 4th of July!!  

I am in Dallas visiting family, and my uncle and I today went to watch the 4th of July parade in the Park Cities in Dallas. This was no regular "community" parade. It was over an hour long and along with the regular fire trucks, police cars and motorcycles included 2 bands, floats, classic cars, horses and 2 stagecoaches.

The weather was incredible, too. There was a massive thunderstorm last night which seemed to cool things off this morning. It was so good, it felt like winter in Texas! The air was cool [for Texas in July] and there was a lovely breeze.

Finally, there was candy. Candy, candy everywhere, being thrown at us by enthusiastic teenagers. Who doesn't like free candy thrown at you from strangers?

I hope everyone had just as enjoyable a 4th of July! Here are some of the highlights of the parade.

Great seats in the shade

The Liberty bell + the 10 Commandments. Not sure what to make of this...

One of the riders is the sheriff (not the kid in the center)

A "real" float.

Classic fire truck

The extermination industry was well represented.

The Dallas Polo Club.

None of us were sure who these people were, but they looked good!

This was a flatbed full of "Elvis's", or "Elvi" according to the sign.

Basic patriotic float, completed with a backwards flag and a Statue of Liberty!

My first #LongLayover in #Toronto

I had an 8 hour layover in Toronto today between Prague and Dallas. I have never had such a layover before--just long enough to go into the city but not long enough to stay the night. After a little investigating I discovered that you can take a 25 minute express train into the city center for $12. Then I stumbled upon a "Long Layover" ticket that is round trip within 8 hours.So after clearing customs, into town I went for an afternoon adventure. 

First I discovered it's Canada Day, and a special one: Canada is 150 today!

I headed straight for the CN Tower, which was a well-labelled and super easy walk from the Union Pacific train station. 

This is on the side of the Toronto Blue Jays building.

After about an hour, I made it to the elevator.
Spectacular views from up there...

 A storm blew in while I was at the top...

...

So I decided to have lunch to pass the time!

Standing on the glass floor...yikes

Ripley's Aquarium of Canada is right next door. It was really amazing! Unlike the CN Tower, I thought this admission price was well worth the visit, even with the massive crowds in there. I didn't take many pictures but there was a lot to see. 

My favorite was the jelly fish room!

There was no way to forget it was Canada Day today!