#243: Realizing I'M the problem

When I lived in Bozeman about a million years ago, a woman told me, "if I'm the problem then there's a solution." Totally right. I have proved over and over again that blaming other people then waiting for them to change does not work. For one, they never change. For second, if the do change, they mostly don't do it correctly. Thirdly, if they do change, and do it correctly, then I generally [read: never] feel better; the real problem, which is my own dissatisfaction, hasn't been addressed.

Here's how this has infiltrated my exercise life:

Me: Everyone gains weight as they get older and there's nothing I can do about it. It's genetics and called 'being human'.
Trainer: Most people gain weight as they get older not because of some ailment, etc., but because they get less active and eat more stuff [read: beer & wine].

Me: There is something genetically making me gain weight. It's because I was so bad at eating well growing up.
Trainer (upon looking at my food log): You ate too that today if you want to reach your goal.

Me:  I won't be able to run for very much longer because my bones are not cooperating and getting old.
Trainer:  Most running "injuries" (he said 80%, I think) are not true injuries but rather the result of tight muscles.

Me:  I should be able to eat more today because I ran 11 miles today.
Trainer:  Well, you probably run at a 9 1/2 mile pace which burns about 9 calories a minute so that's 81 calories per miles times about 6 miles an hour so on those days you can eat about maybe 400 calories more... 

Me:  I should be able to eat more today because I'm really hungry.  
Trainer (whilst talking about other stuff):  ...you might be hungry but you know that calorically you are fine because you know what you just ate...

It always comes back to me and my choices. Which really is great news, because I have control over me!

#183: Hiring a trainer 2 weeks before leaving the country for over a month

I did.  It sounds crazy, I know.  I almost didn't do it because it's kind of nuts.  But I hired a trainer two weeks before I left for Ireland.  I was done--D. U. N.--done with tight clothes, compulsive eating and the terrible cycle of "feel guilty-eat-talk about feeling guilty-work out harder to make up for eating-eat some more-work out harder-...." I was tired of doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.  I was afraid of going to Ireland without any new habits in formation--I would likely repeat last year, practicing unrestrained eating and feeling icky about myself a majority of the time.  I also want to finish the Race to Robie Creek in under 2 hours and qualify for the Boston Marathon before I'm 87 years old.

Instead of continuing down that same path, exactly two weeks before I left I contacted a trainer at my gym I've been wanting to engage for a long time but was too intimidated [read: unwilling to do the work I knew would be required] to approach.  He called me back that night and we met the next day.  He is helping me with all of these goals.

He gave me loads of information about eating and exercising and told me the truth when I went over my goals on my food.  He wrote me a workout plan for the entire time I'm gone.  I emailed him a question a few days after I left and I didn't hear back from him, so I assumed he was busy.

The first week was hard--I admit I went over my calories a few days and skipped the gym a day or two.  However, if I measure progress and not perfections, I'm doing awesome!  I have already worked out more since I've been gone than I think I did my entire 5 weeks gone last year.  I haven't had any ice cream or cake (though I DID buy cereal today, which is a warning food) and the one time I've had fish 'n' chips it was gluten free.  I'm pretty happy with myself.

Then my trainer emailed me back!  My email got spammed and he just found it last night (or whatever time that is in the US).  He answered my question and just knowing that he is there, ready to say to me, "that won't get you closer to your goals," filled me with motivation to eat well today. 

I really needed help with food this summer, and now I'm not suffering through the remorse of poor choices because I was willing to ask for help once I realized I couldn't do it by myself.