When I moved to Boise I bought lots of candy and carved Jack-o-Lanterns and waited all night and got two or three doorbell rings all night long.
All along the way, if I did get invited to a Halloween party, I would make very little effort at putting together a costume, partly out of not-knowing-what-to-do-ness, partly out of self-consciousness and partly out of not-doing-it-well-enough-ness.
Oh, and I would ridicule those that WOULD dress up, because making fun of people is far less painful than showing up and feeling uncomfortable myself. [This habit was used on anything I felt awkward about doing myself, btw.] I would show up late and leave early, often standing self-consciously around the food table, not knowing what to do.
This year was not like that at all! The theme was gnomes. I dressed up. I arrived late but with candy in hand. I was comfortable in my own skin. I talked to people I didn't know. I passed out candy and saw amazing costumes [Btw, what is up with all these little kids dressed in Grease and Wizard of Oz costumes?]. I had so much fun! It was the kind of fun I was always looking for in the past when I made different [read: not good] choices. After passing out candy, I went to another friend's house and got to watch baseball with friends. Again, feeling comfortable in my own skin and so happy to be alive!
Not the house I was at, but very cool |
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