I rewrote my story yesterday on my bike ride. I've grown tired of the one that has been circulating in my head [and out of my mouth], which contains a lot of self-pity, negativity and whining.
The new version:
Isn't it awesome that I get all this time to spend by myself, getting to figure out what I want, love, like and feel. How great to get to have these new experiences with people, "practicing", if you will, being present, right-sized and loving to people instead of selfishly waiting for them to get out of my way. It's great to be able to do bike or run or sleep mostly whenever I want to; to have a good job with sick leave and personal days. Sometimes I buy too much food which goes bad and gets thrown out, but I'm not upset about it anymore; now I think I've learned a little bit more how to shop and take care of myself regarding food.
Because of this time as a single woman, I haven't gotten distracted from myself as in the past. I am getting to see some of the root causes for behaviors, some of which have troubled me my whole life. Every day lately I gain a new insight into myself or the world, and I am so lucky to be able to rebuild my life into something I really want and become the woman I always hoped I'd be. Whatever bumps are along the way are just assurances that my cart is actually moving down [not just sitting on] the road of happy destiny.
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