Monday, May 4, 2015

#123: NOT mowing my yard

I know I'm a princess.  I am a Daddy's girl who is used to getting what I want.  I throw tantrums when life gets hard because I have an unrealistic expectation that life is supposed to be easy.

I also have a wicked-strong work ethic.  I think everything should be done as well as possible and done myself, if it is going to count.  I was that kid who never took money when my mom offered me extra over my allowance--it didn't seem right because I didn't earn it. 

And it came to pass that I have been doing that ever since.  When I got divorced I kept the same mentality but there was suddenly more to do and only one person to do it.  I just worked harder.  I have been doing everything, like millions of other single homeowners: mowing, edging, planting, watering, calling plumbers and taking the vehicle in for service and cleaning the bathroom and mopping the floor and doing the laundry....oh my gosh, what we decide is important in this culture!

I've considered the option of paying someone to mow my yard, but I never felt like I had enough money to spend on that.  It would cost me $20 every two weeks.  It seemed frivolous to spend money on something I could do myself [never mind that I easily spend $40 a month at Starbucks or Java].  I've been rolling along like this for years, feeling sorry for myself because I have sooooo much to do, especially mowing.  Poor me...

It was the doctor telling my that stress is affecting my body (my protein and white blood cell counts are low and my hair has been thinning all year) that motivated me to change my mind.  I posted on Facebook for help and my friends' son came over today and mowed the national grassland that my backyard had become.

Here's what I learned from this:
  • My time is valuable.  Valuable enough to not spend it doing things I don't want to do that could easily be done by someone else.
  • I am worth it!  This sounds weird and Stuart Smalley-ish, but I don't care.  I didn't realize until this kid was mowing and I was cooking simultaneously that I a small part of me didn't think I was worth spending $20 on.  
  • The little things matter.  You probably know already how good it feels to have a mowed lawn!
  • I think I helped others by asking for help.  The kid is richer and there seemed to be a lot of father-son bonding going on.
  • I got to see my girlfriend (we sat and watched for a while).

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