Monday, May 25, 2015

#144: God visited me at hot yoga

Today at Hot Yoga I was really struggling.  Really early into the session I was wiping my face on the big towel that goes over my yoga mat--I had forgotten to bring a small hand towel for this. 

After one such face wipe the gentleman next to me said, "here," has he tossed me a white hand towel.  "I haven't used it at all." 

My first instinct was to decline, but upon reflection, I didn't.  Instead I lay on my back, put the towel over my face and cried.  I was overwhelmed that someone noticed I needed help and helped.  I pulled it together and rejoined the group.

A few minutes later we were doing this pose:

On the first leg, I had a lot of trouble getting my hand in the proper position around my foot. During the part where we reach back and grab our foot, I heard a voice behind me say, "no, like this," as I felt someone's hand on my wrist.  The instructor showed me how to grab my foot properly, which consequently made the pose much easier that time!  Again I teared up.  Finally, at the end, a woman I know whom I have not talked to for years was there and suddenly appeared with a smile and a bottle of cleaner.  I was stunned.  Happily stunned.

I know I was tired and depleted and struggling and some say that this is a recipe for quick tears.  But I think it's more like a recipe to get down to our core, to what really bothers, scares or motivates us.  These two people hit one of my deepest fears: the fear that if I don't remind people that I am around, they won't remember me;  I've projected this fear onto God, so that I believe, or at least used to believe that if I get lost in my own life, fully indulging in the moment or my passions or my job or whatever is mine to do, that God will forget about me and my dreams.

So today at yoga I got a God-shot when three people noticed me, saw my needs and helped me, while I wasn't looking for it; when I was fully engaged in the moment; while I was struggling with what was right in front of me; not hyper vigilant about whether other people were noticing me or not.  I was reminded that God does not forget me; that I can always trust Him and be taken care of.

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